KEEP IN MIND

Keep in mind that these techniques and dating tips can be used by men as well as women.  It's a two sided coin a lot of times.  The theories of social dynamics are a two way street.

A LITTLE DEEPER INTO THE GAME: BE THE LEADER OF HER IMAGINATION

What if a stranger came into your life and within minutes was leading your imagination on an incredible, interesting, and adventurous journey that was not only stimulating but also created chemistry between the two of you?  Wouldn't that be so much more interesting than the stranger asking you generic questions like "Where are you from or what you do for a living"?  One of the most enticing pieces of the game is being the leader of her imagination in a conversation.  An easy example of this would be telling an interesting story where she imagines your story in her own mind creating a connection between the two of you.  Another example, yet slightly different form of being the leader of her imagination is using fantasy (something that never happened or is unlikely to happen) to entice her.  For example, (and this must be used in the proper context of a conversation, just saying it randomly might be a bit strange).  Here it is:  Me: "So, are you are roller, a folder, or a tosser?"  Her: "What do you mean by that?"  Me: "Well, let's say we go on vacation, we have our suitcases open and I'm gonna take you anywhere you wanna go.  And you're packing your bag.  Do you throw your clothes in?  Do you roll 'em?  Or do you fold 'em?" (Keep in mind, this is just an example.  Feel free to get creative.  Just make sure the experience is positive.  Don't say that you are taking her on a trip and the plane crashes and you all die.)  Now, whatever answer she says, I play with it.  If she says that she's a folder I say that I'm a roller and vice versa depending on whatever she says.  Me: "You're a roller?  Man, I'm a folder.  Rollers and folders don't usually get along unless there's some kind of chemistry here."********* See what I did there?  That little hint of connection ('unless there's some kind of chemistry here' ) helps to get the ball rolling.  It let's her know that you are not there to be her friend in the FRIEND ZONE.  And a good place to go after this would be to ask her where she likes to go on vacation when she actually goes.  And it's amazing how fast they will go right into it and discuss the details even though at this point they've only known you for what, 5 minutes?  So, where you go after this is entirely up to you.  As she describes the details, listen listen listen to every word she says and ask her questions about them.

TODAY WAS AMAZING!

I completed Day 29 of the StyleLife Challenge!  My mission was to go out and get movie recommendations for my party from girls that I saw.  If I invited one and exchanged numbers then my mission was complete.   Here's how it went down.  I arrived at work around 2:15 p.m.  As I was getting ready to start my shift I see this attractive woman walk into the store.  I immediately go find her and approach with my opinion opener of what are the top ten films of all time for my dinner party.  I seeded the party early on in the conversation and exchanged numbers in about 2 minutes of interaction.  I walked away feeling like gold because I knew that not only could this girl become an amazing friend to have but also that I had basically completed the StyleLife Challenge.  All that is left now is my dinner party on Thursday which is going to be a blast.  I just want to say to anyone reading this that the StyleLife Challenge is a challenge worth taking on.  It has changed my life in multiple ways and made me an all-around better person.  Not only am I better with women, I am better with people in general.  It has brought a lot of happiness into my life.  Signing off.  Cheers.

SCIENCE OF SOCIAL DYNAMICS

social proof and preselection by the opposite sex are two attraction switches that can be flipped on or off.  There are others which I will get to in a second.  Social proof and preselection differ slightly.  In a nutshell, social proof is simply having people around you.  The highest degree of social proof is demonstrated when the people around you are all centering their attention on you.  You are the alpha-male, the high-value male that women want to be with and men want to be.  Pre-selection by women is just what it sounds like; you are a man who is attractive enough to the opposite sex to have women wanting to be around you and that conveys a message about you to other women.  Women want what other women have.  Women want the highest value male in the room.  Women want a man who has several different options when it comes to choosing a woman because a man who has several different options is a high-value man.  Women want to be the hottest, most sought-out one in the room.  And don't get mad at hott girls who sit at the bar with their other hott girlfriends and act stuck-up when you approach them and they reject you.  These girls are just bored of getting hit on constantly by guys who usually all want the same thing, to get laid.  We all know the type.  The lame losers who have no personality.  So, be different.  Don't approach the group head on.  Go indirect.  Open the set over your shoulder and add a time-constraint to your approach.  Be interesting.  Tell interesting stories about your life.  Engage the group.  Make it look spontaneous, say that you can only stay for a second b/c you have to get back to your friends, and then neg the target.  By negging the target you briefly disqualify yourself from being a potential suitor until attraction is built, and at that point you can start flirting.  A neg is, in a nutshell, a backhanded compliment that you say to a stuck up hott girl that lets her know that you are not after her.  After she is convinced that you are not after her, she will lower her shield which, in turn, gives you the opportunity to demonstrate that you are in fact an interesting, fun, high-value guy.  After all, if you had the guts to approach a group of hott girls then you must have had at least some value.

NAUGHTY THINGS U CAN ONLY SAY ON THANKSGIVING

1. Talk about a huge breast!

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. It's Cool Whip time!

4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

5. That's one terrific spread!

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in?

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

REPEAT OF DAY 22

Today has turned out to be pretty amazing.  I completed my DAY 22 mission at the mall today and met/ picked up a pretty amazing girl there.  It's about 10:00 at night now and I just got back from downtown.  I went by myself to grab a few drinks a meet some new people.  When I walked up to the bar, there was a huge group of people sitting outside and I knew that I wanted to be in that group.  And, thanks to Erik von Markovick and his advice on group theory, I was able to engage the entire group without coming off as a creep or some random/average guy.  I went indirect.  I approached someone that was in the group but on the outskirts of the group.  This is important because it is less obtrusive and allows you to ease your way into the larger set.  Once I conversed with that guy for a minute and got his "social approval" by coming off as a fun person to be around, I was more easily accepted into the group.  While I was talking with that guy I could more easily start a conversation with one of the people who was in the groups epicenter until I reached a hook point in the conversation.  The hookpoint occurs when you microcalibrate conversational value.  I know that doesn't make much sense but let me break it down.  So, when you engage one of the group members you throw out a small piece of conversational value which, theoretically, leads them asking you questions (IOI) and wanting more.  When you properly calibrate conversational value, your value as a person goes through the roof making you eventually one of the group's members.  I hope this made sense.

Anyways, that's what I did tonight and it made me very happy that my studies and practice are paying dividends.  Signing off.  Good luck to everyone.

THE POWER OF A SMILE

When I'm in-field, I find it so much easier to approach and be approached if I have a smile on my face.  If I'm in a good mood, or rather a great mood, I can converse with anyone.  Conversation just flows so freely when you're filled with positivity.  Positivity is contagious.  I know of a few people in my life who just have a natural tendency for radiating positivity at all times.  It's not that they are trying to, it's just their natural way of life.  These people have some of the most fulfilling careers, relationships, and friendships of any I've ever seen.  Shit happens to people that makes them have a negative outlook on life.  Believe me, I know.  It's not what has happened to you but how you handle it.  I know of some of the most physically disabled people in the world who have some of the most fulfilling lives imaginable.  I'm not saying that it's easy to have and live these kinds of lives.  In fact, it can be down-right miserable sometimes trying to have the kind of life you imagined.  But it's worth it.  Every ounce of pain and turmoil endured to achieve a worth-while goal is worth it.  Try to force a smile as much as you can.  It will actually make you a happier person.  This has been a message about life.  Signing off.  Cheers.

DAY 28

I went to the mall to do this one.  I made about 12 approaches.  My mission was to observe a group of people and try and guess how they know one another then go up and ask them to actually see.  I gotta go.  Signing off.  Cheers.

ONE INTERESTING OPENER I'VE USED

I've executed a lot of openers.  Sometimes I'll just get that 'don't give a sh**' attitude and i'll just start experimenting with whatever openers come to mind.  In addition, I've used several other openers that I've learned from various members of the attraction community.  One opener that I used the other night is the "Drug dealer opener".  It goes like this.  It has to be used in a crowded venue and, as in every every opener, the way you deliver the opener is much more important than the words themselves.  You walk up to a group of people (preferably with girls in it) and just open in a very relaxed, non-chalant way that conveys non-neediness and apathy for the outcome.  You say, "Hey guys, I need yall's help on something.  I gotta get back to my friends but really quickly... Do I look like a drug dealer to yall??  '(Whatever answer they give)  (and remember, manner of delivery is utterly important here)'  'Well, I've been here for about an hour and I've already had two girls come up to me asking for weed.  They get all touchy-feely on me when they ask and when I tell them I don't they get all pissed off and walk away." (HERE'S THE TRANSITION POINT AND IT'S SPOKEN TO THE GIRLS IN THE GROUP)  Ya know what I mean?  So, my real question is this.  Have you girls ever had a guy approach you and you can just tell he wants something from you and when he realizes he's not going to get it he walks away all pissed off?"  AND EVERY HOTT GIRL CAN RELATE TO THIS SO SHE SHOULD SAY YES 99% OF THE TIME.  So that's your opener with a transitioner to go along with it.  How you handle the rest of the interaction is all up to you.  After the opener, it's all about improv and conveying interesting DHV's (demonstrations of higher value).  Signing off.  Cheers.

HICKORY TAVERN...WEDNESDAY NIGHT

Talk about a high-school reunion!!  The Hickory Tavern on the night before Thanksgiving is a blast!!  It's really interesting how everyone hangs out in the same groups and cliches that they did in high school.  Haven't people changed??  I talked to everyone.  I don't think there was a person in there who didn't chat with me.  It was great.  The best way I've found to get in a conversation when in a crowded venue is to go indirect.  Talk with someone in your proximity that way it is easier to engage them.  In fact, approaching is not necessary when done this way.  It's just easier this way.  Just open the set over your shoulder as if it were spontaneous.  Get into a talkative mood.  Ever been in one?  Sure you have.  You have to get excited about life!  That way you'll always have something to say. ; )  Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  Be easy.  Signing off.  Cheers.

REJECTION AND INNER GAME

I've been rejected dozens and dozens of times so far.  It's normal.  For someone in the game, rejection can be THE MOST DEBILITATING FACTOR IN EXISTENCE.  However, if used properly, rejection can be harnessed as an extremely useful tool to learn from.  Listen, rejection is going to happen.  Don't let it crush you.  Brush it off and get back in there.  Who cares what people say or think about you.  In fact, if you truly go around with this attitude, people with respect the hell out of you.  Because most people don't have the guts to just go in and say "It doesn't matter what they say or think".  It's called Inner Game.  There's a game going on inside each of us that determines our self-esteem, values, and morals and we totally control how emotions effect these three aspects of our inner-game.  That's right.  It's all up to you and you can improve yourself drastically by working on your inner-game.  And other people are a large part of what effects our inner-game.  Be positive.  There are 7 billion people in the world.  Who cares what a few think about you?!  Those people are probably just masking their OWN insecurities by rejecting you.  It makes sense, doesn't it?  Be strong.  'Til next time.  Signing off.  Cheers.  ; )

Group Theory

I have to go in a second so I'll make this quick.  For simplicity's sake, let's dive right into this topic.  A man walks into a public gathering, say, a night club where there are over 200 people.  The man sees a beautiful woman in a group of 3 other women, which is called a 4-set.  He wants to talk to that beautiful woman.  What does he do?  Well, the average chump would go right up and talk to her.  This is wrong.  If you truly want to be different, approach that girls entire group paying little attention to the girl that you are interested in.  Be fun, vibrant, and exciting and get her friends' approval.  If your target is on a high horse you may need to neg her.  Of course, always neg with a smile.  Get her friend's approval and you have overcome one of the biggest obstacles.  In a nutshell, once you have her friends' approval, you can start talking to her and start building attraction with DHV's (demonstrations of higher value) such as telling interesting stories, rings routine, cold reading, etc. etc.  This is the foundation of group theory. 

What about groups that contain guys???
Simple.  When you open the set, the guys are going to think that you are after their girl.  (Biological Male Competition)  Therefore, simply pay most of your attention to the guys.  Become the alpha-male in the group, the Leader of Men so they call it.  Be that super-interesting and fun guy that everyone wants to be around.  If you have successfully done this, the girl will start giving you IOI's (indicators of interest) and be careful with IOI's and IOD's (indicators of disinterest) because your responses to these signs must be properly calibrated.  Give an IOI for every IOI you receive and give an IOD for every IOD you receive.  The tricky part is being able to read body language and tonalities.  I've got to go.  Hope this was helpful.  Signing off.  Cheers.

MORE ON NEGS

As noted previously, a neg is a tool used to briefly disqualify yourself as a potential suitor when engaged in conversation with a girl who is full of herself.  The neg's main purpose is to bring her off her high horse and down to a level that is more compatible with everyone else.  After you neg her properly, you might get a playful punch on the arm or something from her, which lets you know that you executed the neg successfully.  On average, neg a stuck up girl 3 times before moving to the next stage of attraction, depending on how stuck up she is.  Always neg with a smile. See? : )

A VERY SUBTLE YET EXTREMELY IMPORTANT PART OF THE GAME

Most guys, when they go into a set, go in with the attitude of "I'm going to try and 'pick up' this girl."  However, as noted in the last post, people will sense what your intentions are just by your body language and your vibe.  Don't hit on anyone.  Get in there.  Open the set indirectly and just talk talk talk.  Also, it's very important to be enthusiastic about what you are talking about because enthusiasm is contagious.  One of the most important pieces of the game is being talkative and flashing a positive vibrancy at all times.  Everyone wants to be around someone who is exciting.  Thing is, I notice whenever I'm not only in a good mood but rather in an AWESOME mood, people tend to gravitate toward me naturally.  My mood was usually due to something exciting that happened to me earlier that day.  So I would be on cloud 9 for hours and hours.  My openers for the rest of the day would be about my incredible experience earlier that day.  That's right.  I would just walk up to a girl who I didn't know and just start yakking about my awesome day all enthusiastically.  After I was done with my story I would just look at her and say "And now I meet you, my day can't get any better."  I almost always get the girl when I flash positivity and vibrancy.  So it got me thinking.  Ya know how if you're feeling down you can force yourself to smile and actually feel better just by carrying out that physical action?  Well, what if you just forced yourself to smile every time you approached a set?  Not only would it make you feel happier, but it would draw people to you naturally.  I have so many quality women in my life now because of following this ONE principle.  And many of them are just friends and that's great.  I love women.  I think they are amazing.  Signing off.  Cheers.

GOING OUT FOR VALIDATION...THE WRONG WAY

When I first got into the game, it was all about validation.  Going out, meeting women, getting phone numbers, and feeling validated by it for a short while until the next number close.  This is normal for most guys in the Challenge.  However, it is not a good idea.  If, however, you go out into the field and go with the attitude of giving value instead of taking it away, your game will improve immensely.  Human beings are AMAZING!  They can sense when someone in their proximity is wanting something from them just like they can sense when someone in their proximity is there only to make them feel better about themselves.  You want to be the latter.  Be the one who doesn't need validation.  The one whose inner-game is so infallible that you don't need validation from anything or anyone.  You are comfortable in your own skin.  That's the kind of person that others gravitate towards.

MORE SCIENCE OF SOCIAL DYNAMICS

As discussed in the previous post, social proof and preselection by the opposite sex are two attraction switches that can be flipped on or off.  There are others which I will get to in a second.  Social proof and preselection differ slightly.  In a nutshell, social proof is simply having people around you.  The highest degree of social proof is demonstrated when the people around you are all centering their attention on you.  You are the alpha-male, the high-value male that women want to be with and men want to be.  Pre-selection by women is just what it sounds like; you are a man who is attractive enough to the opposite sex to have women wanting to be around you and that conveys a message about you to other women.  Women want what other women have.  Women want the highest value male in the room.  Women want a man who has several different options when it comes to choosing a woman because a man who has several different options is a high-value man.  Women want to be the hottest, most sought-out one in the room.  And don't get mad at hott girls who sit at the bar with their other hott girlfriends and act stuck-up when you approach them and they reject you.  These girls are just bored of getting hit on constantly by guys who usually all want the same thing, to get laid.  We all know the type.  The lame losers who have no personality.  So, be different.  Don't approach the group head on.  Go indirect.  Open the set over your shoulder and add a time-constraint to your approach.  Be interesting.  Tell interesting stories about your life.  Engage the group.  Make it look spontaneous, say that you can only stay for a second b/c you have to get back to your friends, and then neg the target.  By negging the target you briefly disqualify yourself from being a potential suitor until attraction is built, and at that point you can start flirting.  A neg is, in a nutshell, a backhanded compliment that you say to a stuck up hott girl that lets her know that you are not after her.  After she is convinced that you are not after her, she will lower her shield which, in turn, gives you the opportunity to demonstrate that you are in fact an interesting, fun, high-value guy.  After all, if you had the guts to approach a group of hott girls then you must have had at least some value.

Anyways, back to attraction switches. 1) pre-selection by women, 2) social proof, 3) leader of men, 4) protector of loved ones.

Now, leader of men is pretty simple to break down.  If you are in a group of guys in a public gathering and you can convey that you are the alpha male in the group then you will be the first one in the group that women will be attracted to.  Women want the head-honcho.  That's their first choice.  If you are in a group of guys and you are clearly not the alpha-male, and one girl is talking to you while the alpha male is talking to another girl.  Take that as an insult.  She doesn't want to talk to you but is doing so subconsciously because the alpha male is occupied. 

Protector of loved ones.  Women want a man who, when they fall in love, will protect her.  If you can demonstrate that you look out for your friends and family, this says something about you and the esteem to which you hold the ones that you love.  So look out for your friends and family at all times.  It's attractive. ; )

Signing off.

FRIDAY NIGHT/DAY 26

Before I get to my story, I want to discuss the science of social dynamics a bit.  Every human being has hard-wired switches in their brains that trigger attraction.  These switches can be flipped on or off.  One of these attraction switches is "pre-selection by women".  In a social gathering, if a man can convey that he has the approval, or "social proof", of women then other women in proximity to him will feel attraction for him on some level.  And to a certain degree, this works for women as well.  If a woman can convey that she is cool just hangin around the guys then other guys will, on some level, be attracted to that. That is why it is important to always have people of the opposite sex in your proximity during the entire time in the field.  I personally, and i don't think i'm alone on this, think it's really cool when a hott girl can be comfortable just hangin around the guys.  This means that she is confident and is not insecure.  I also think that those are the highest value females; the ones who are extremely good looking, have a solid personality, and are not afraid to hang around guys.  So, pre-selection by women.  It's an attraction switch and if you can properly convey it then you will have more opportunities to meet more women.  Now...i'll get to my story.

I walked downtown last night.  I was pretty off my game.  Day 26 threw me off a bit since I was used to not using any material in conversation.  I got stuck for things to say.  After about an hour, I met up with a friend of mine named Anthony.  Anthony is super-cool.  He had a lot of pre-selection.  He arrived with 3 or 4 girls (pre-selection/social proof) and I was impressed.  I hung out with them for a bit and went to another bar with them.  It was at this bar that we stood outside for a while not wanting to pay the cover charge.  It was also outside this bar that I successfully performed the rings routine and cold reading on this girl from a bachelorette party.  So I can't say that last night was a totally burn-out.  I just got too drunk (a mistake that I will have to watch out for next time).  The rings routine is where you predict a person's personality by the fingers they wear their rings on and use cold reading to make sure that your reading is more accurate (or at least seems more accurate to them).  I've used it several times and people think I'm a psychic! Isn't that wild!  I'm not a psychic and I don't claim to have any special intuitive powers.  But it's still fun to watch their reactions and get them interested in you and build attraction.  Well, I hope this info was helpful.  Signing off.  Cheers.

ITS ON!

This is my blog everyone.  Welcome to it and thank you for stopping in for a bit.  This is something i've been dealving into a bit for the past 4 or 5 months to improve my social skills.  Not just with women but for every aspect of my life.  Tell me what you think.  Feedback will really help me on my journey. 

DAY 26

I just got back from downtown.  Going up to a stranger armed with absolutely no material is no problem at all.  Keeping them there is a challenge.  My mission is to approach 3 strangers and make conversation for at least 10 minutes.  I made about 7 or 8 legitimate approaches today.  One that I met, a girl named Rebecca, stayed and chatted for about 9 minutes.  Can I count this one?  Another one, which WAS ten minutes, was a girl who I think just wanted me to buy her something to eat.  But she did stick around for ten minutes.  Does it count if she only stuck around because she wanted something from me?  Aside from those two, I had about 3 or 4 conversations that were from four to five minutes long and then about 2 or 3 conversations that were about a minute or two.  THIS IS TOUGH!!!

DAY 26

Still on Day 26.  Go out and start 3 conversations with 3 different strangers completely unarmed and stay in the convo for at least 10 minutes.  Here we go.

DAY 26

Today I made about 4 or 5 approaches.  It started this morning almost as soon as I walked out the door.  My mission today was to approach 3 different strangers completely unarmed and continue the conversation for at least 10 minutes.  I was not allowed to use any material or anything that I had learned.  I want to make sure that I complete all the missions in their entirety so I am going to say that I completed one of those ten minute conversation although I had two conversations one of which was just shy of 10 minutes.  Tomorrow I'll complete the others but man, these missions are a lot of work.  Maybe I should just enjoy the conversation and if it was meant to be 10 minutes then so be it.  If it wasn't then move on to the next one.  Knowing this, I have so many other things that just make me want to trap the person there for ten minutes so I can complete my mission but then again, as I learned on day 16, I shouldn't go in with the intention of getting something from these people.  I should go in with the intention of making their day.  I'm so close and I just can't wait to complete the Challenge.  I have worked so hard to come this far.  I know I'm going to complete it but I'm just unsure of how I am going to end up completing it.  After the Challenge it will get easier because I won't have any certain obligatory stunts I have to pull of during an approach.  I'll just become a natural at it.  Thousands and thousands of approaches lie ahead of me and I'm more excited than I am nervous because of what I will gain from them.  Failure is not an option.  It's either this mentality or settle on living a mediocre life where I'll always wonder what could have been.  And I don't want that.  I want to change.  It's frustrating as hell sometimes.  I want to attract people everywhere I go with charisma and charm.  Bring it on world.  Signing off.

EACH INTERACTION IS JUST PRACTICE FOR THE NEXT!!

There is no such thing as failure.  We learn from mistakes.  Each time we get better and better.  If you have a phobia of going up and talking to people.  Then get out there and get rejected!  Get rejected again and again and again and again until you just look yourself in the mirror and say, "WOW!  I'm still alive!  Those unfamiliar people who rejected me all those times didn't kill me after all."  I've been rejected PLENTY of times and I'm more proud than ashamed to admit it.  Sometimes I'll get in this mode where I just don't give a SH** what happens and many times that vibe comes off of me and I become more attractive to people.    Remember this quote from Arnold Schwarzenegger, "If you can go through the pain period, you make it to be champion.  If you can't, then forget it.  What makes a man is when he has the guts to just go in and say, 'I don't care what happens.'"

NEVER FORGET!

Never forget that this is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  AHHHH!!  This is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  This is a life-long pursuit.  ThIs Is A lIfE lOnG pUrSuIt.  tHiS iS a LiFe-LoNg PuRsUiT!!!!  This is a life-long pursuit! THIS IS A LIFE-LONG PURSUIT!!

IS THIS WHAT I TRULY WANT?

I haven't had much of a clue what I wanted to do with my life over the past few years.  This journey gets tough and I know I just need to hang in there.  Don't give up.  There is something spectacular waiting for me at the end of the tunnel.  Just hang in there.  I've already accomplished so much and sacrificed so much and learned so much and been through so much that giving up now would be ridiculous.  I'm going to complete the StyleLife Challenge!  And then you know what I'm going to do?  I'm going to start another project on improving myself.  Whether it be reading a book or finding another challenge by a different dating coach.  Valuable things are meant to be worked for.  Day 26 comin' up.  Here we go...

DAY 25

Day 25 will be pretty easy.  I've already completed pretty much the whole thing.  I seeded the dinner party to everyone that was invited.  Now comes Day 26.  Day 26 is going to be much different from all the rest.  My mission is to make 3 approaches armed with nothing.  No material, no routines, no cold reading...nothing.  And I think I can do this pretty efficiently.  I've been following the methods of David Wygant (professional dating coach) for starting and continuuing conversation.  My mission is to make these 3 approaches, lead the conversation for ten minutes, and get a new guest for my dinner party. HERE WE GO!! ; )

HELPING OTHERS

I was reading over my posts and noticed that what I say could be interpretted as bragging...Sorry about that.  What I would like is to know that people can read my blog and have it improve their lives.  This blog wasn't even my idea.  I started it in response to a request by a friend that I do so.  Cheers.

Day 24

I just completed Day 24.  It happened so fast that I had to look back at the book to make sure I actually followed the mission.  Phone number exchanges are like no-brainers to me now.  All you need is humor, playfulness, a seed in the middle of the conversation, and proper body language.  If all these things are presented by you in the conversation then a phone number exchange at the end will come naturally.  It's very imperative that you learn this if you are wanting to have your social circle blow up to astronomical sizes like an atom bomb.  I'm going to have everyone's phone number in asheville before long...nah, just kidding.  But I am going to need a cell phone with more memory.

FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES...

It has recently come to my attention that my blog could be mis-interpreted by many people for many reasons.  This blog is not my journey to become a womanizer or cheuvenist who exploits women.  Far from it.  This blog is about my journey for reaching my full potential as a human being and about helping others who want the same out of life.  It's not about picking up women, though as a young man I am interested in attracting women.  There is nothing wrong with that.  It is natural and biological.  It's about picking up people.  By that I mean it is about making myself and others attractive, charismatic, and influential individuals who can win the woman of their dreams, nail that job interview, develop meaningful relationships with others, and live the life they only dreamed of!  Life is a gift and i'm tired of wasting it.  : )

DRIVE AND AMBITION

I've gone through so much pain and frustration thus far.  And it's only the beginning of a long journey that I hope I never talk myself out of partaking in.  This blog is part of my journey and I have gone through so much in order to have valuable knowledge to put on here.  This has been the most challenging chapter of my life thus far but it has allowed me to be able to bring you my story in this blog.  I have bled for you.  I have experienced excrutiating inner pain and turmoil and I've had to train myself mentally in order to take the pain and continue on.  One might ask, why the hell would someone put themselves through this.  Good question and I'll answer it in a sec.  The journey is long and it is difficult.  And ya know what, I love it.  The reason why I have endured all this is because the juice is worth the squeeze.  Besides, even though I've had many bad experiences, I learned from every single one of them.  Now, if I go out to a bar, I can get myself invited into anyone's inner-circle.  I say that because I have tested this.  I tested myself by saying that if I can go out 2 consecutive weekends and get myself invited into a group of strangers on all four nights, then it is safe to say that I am pretty proficient at it.  But I will keep testing it................OH CRAP!  I gotta go!

Saturday Night

Saturday night was amazing!  I went downtown again alone and made several in-field approaches.  I even approached a table of 6 hott women at the bar and DID NOT get rejected.  As a matter of fact, I opened the set, got them laughing and exited myself.  There was no rejection, only a valuable lesson learned.  I'm no pro at this but I have learned a thing or two.  Here's a big key to approaching in a bar that I have tested and it is tried and true.  Technically, it is a way to avoid rejection every time.  When you go to approach a set you always make it seem like you are on your way somewhere else and are just passing by making a small conversational contribution.  Now, be careful what you say because what you say must have a hook to it.  And you only have a small window of time to hit that hook point before you start looking needy.  But here's how the rejection is avoided.  If you are giving the impression that you are on your way somewhere else (back to your "friends" over across the bar even if you came alone) then you will never be rejected.  Walk past the set slowly.  Open the set over your shoulder.  Dangle that bait in front of them and see if it hooks.  If it doesn't (which if you know conversation then you know what hooks and what doesn't), then you can always keep walking past completely avoiding any rejection.  But I would say that I hit the hookpoint 95% of the time.  And every once in a while you'll come across a real stick in the mud who has absolutely no personality, is entirely too introverted to be out in public, and they think it's offensive when a stranger comes up and talks to them. These people will reject you  almost always.  Brush it off and always remember that you are a butterfly of social talent and you are out to make everyone's days and nights more enjoyable through your charm and personality.  Suck every bit you can from the marrow of life.  Be the man.  Be a man. Signing off.  Cheers.

Last Night

Well, last night was a blast!  When I go downtown on a Friday or Saturday night, I usually go alone.  Going alone poses a problem to most people b/c they don't know how to connect with a stranger.  Going alone is actually the way I prefer.  When you go with a friend who doesn't socialize as well, it can become a liability moreso than a perk.  Now, if you had a friend who could hang in there with you (a noble wingman) it would be totally worth it.  Anyways, it doesn't really matter because in the first half hour that I'm at a bar I usually already have a set locked in pretty solidly.  That's what happened last night.  In the first 15 minutes I met a woman outside.  Talked and talked and then got into her larger set inside the bar.  Within 15 minutes after that I was dominating the set.  (Oh and here's something funny.  I left the set for a second to go get another beer and cracked a smile as I made cheers with a group of girls that I walked past.  Seconds later, at the bar, one of the girls from that same group tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I would buy her a drink.  HA! That's funny.  Never, ever, ever buy a girl a drink!  You shouldn't have to pay for her attention.  So with the other two girls from the group standing right there I looked at the girl who asked me and said, with a cynical smirk on my face, "What, are you broke?"  She didn't think it was that funny, the two bystanding girls from the group sure thought it was, and I sure as hell did.  And I said it with a smile on my face so my intentions were perceived as good. Facial expressions play a HUGE part in the delivery and perception of a message. That's a no-brainer.  I should have locked in with this group but oh well.) So, BACK TO THE ORIGINAL SET.  15 more minutes of being the fun guy and one of the girls asked if I wanted to tag along to the next bar.  Now, before I go any further, these 3 women were all over 30 and there were two men.  One of the men wandered off shortly after we left the bar.  So that left 3 women, 1 man, and myself.  The other man was a pretty low-value guy.  He was clearly hitting on Michelle all night thinking that was the way to go.  I hung back, kept the fun-guy vibe goin, and had consistent IOI's from these women all night.  This is great practice for me if I ever decide I want to be a dating coach.  I'm still not a pro but I'm getting very good at socializing with people.

I HAD AN EPIPHANY!!

I totally get it now.  Controlling the frame of the conversation allows you to fit the context of someone else's words into your own personal preference making you the alpha male in the conversation.  It's genius!  I can't believe I didn't understand it before!............Well, that's my thought for the hour. ; )

DAY 23

Oh, and I also need to brush up on threads, loops, and hooks.

DAY 23

Day 23 is going to be like all the rest: very challenging when I first evaluate it but less challenging once I get out there on my feet and start mingling with people.  This is the final review day.  I must brush up on my cold reading skills, my frame-control, my reframing, and my openers (i need to use more of a variety of openers instead of just the same 2 or 3).  Then the final stretch begins!! I am going to have a huge party to celebrate the end of the StyleLife Challenge.  I can't wait!  But I have to focus now for this final stretch.  It'll be well worth it.

DAY 22

Today has turned out to be pretty amazing.  I completed my DAY 22 mission at the mall today and met/ picked up a pretty amazing girl there.  It's about 10:00 at night now and I just got back from downtown.  I went by myself to grab a few drinks a meet some new people.  When I walked up to the bar, there was a huge group of people sitting outside and I knew that I wanted to be in that group.  And, thanks to Erik von Markovick and his advice on group theory, I was able to engage the entire group without coming off as a creep or some random/average guy.  I went indirect.  I approached someone that was in the group but on the outskirts of the group.  This is important because it is less obtrusive and allows you to ease your way into the larger set.  Once I conversed with that guy for a minute and got his "social approval" by coming off as a fun person to be around, I was more easily accepted into the group.  While I was talking with that guy I could more easily start a conversation with one of the people who was in the groups epicenter until I reached a hook point in the conversation.  The hookpoint occurs when you microcalibrate conversational value.  I know that doesn't make much sense but let me break it down.  So, when you engage one of the group members you throw out a small piece of conversational value which, theoretically, leads them asking you questions (IOI) and wanting more.  When you properly calibrate conversational value, your value as a person goes through the roof making you eventually one of the group's members.  I hope this made sense.

Anyways, that's what I did tonight and it made me very happy that my studies and practice are paying dividends.  Signing off.  Good luck to everyone.

DAY 22

I just completed Day 22.  I think.  Technically I did b/c I did everything that the mission said to do.  It might not have gone the way I had imagined it would go but that's ok, i guess.  I went to the mall to do it.  When I completed the mission I stopped at this skin treatment vendor in the middle of the mall operated by one insanely cute girl named Serena.  We started talking about skin treatment and then I transitioned the conversation into funny stories about my childhood.  Then she shared one of hers.  We laughed. (At this point, I needed to find a way to seed an upcoming event to allow for a natural number exchange at the end.  So I said something like "Wow. I did some interesting things when I was young.  But its amazing how life can be just as interesting when you get older.  Like, I meet some of the most interesting people in this town. Like for instance, I'm going to a show tonight with some of the most interesting people I've met in this town...BOOM! SEED PLANTED! CHECK!)   So anyways, I mildly teased her about her story.  I started telling her the dolphin tank story from my childhood.  I was almost finished when a customer came up to look at some of her products.  At this point I exited, without finishing my story, and went into a nearby clothing store planning on coming back to her after she finished with the customer.  I thought I might as well have some fun while I was in there so I saw a group of older women in there, grabbed the nearest girly outfit accessory I could find (which was a pink skirt) and went up to the ladies.  "Excuse me, I need a female opinion on this."  Then I put the skirt up to my waistline and smiled.  "What do you think?"  I said.  "This or the one with purple flowers over there on that rack?"  They all burst out laughing!  After that I went back over to re-initiate my conversation with "skincare girl" and she was like "Hey, you didn't finish your story."  Now I knew exactly what to do in this situation seeing as how this was a big IOI.  I playfully hesitated for a second to amplify the attraction and then I finally finished the story.  I looked at my watch and said "Wow! I gotta go."  Took one step away then looked back and said "Hey, you should tag along tonight to the show. It's gonna be fun." (NUMBER CLOSE)

By seeding the conversation with an exciting event, it gives you an alternate excuse for getting her number and avoids 99% of all possible awkwardness for the phone number exchange. The more you practice, the easier is gets.  Good luck guys. Signing off.

Overview of how this has improved my life

The best way, in my opinion, to expand our small realities is by inviting someone new into them.  These are wise words from a friend of mine.  Some people are so awfully terrified of social rejection and, I can empathize.  I'm not one to say that their fear of rejection is nonsense because I, too, have been there and I still am to a certain degree.  One of the things that has helped me overcome and let go of the outcomes of my interactions is knowing that: 1) there are 7 billion people in the world, what does one person's opinion of me matter? (2) of the many times I was rejected at the beginning of my journey, I have yet to see one of those people a second time. They have forgotten all about me and that interaction and I am long gone from their memory. Besides, I wouldn't know if I saw them again b/c I wouldn't recognize them if I did.  It is just that insignificant to me and probably even less significant to them which means they wouldn't recognize me either. (3) as Wayne Gretsky put it, "You miss 100% of the shots you DON'T take. (4) BE A MAN! i know that sitting here reading this advice is a million miles of difference from actually being in-field and experiencing all the limiting beliefs we have about ourselves before an approach when were in the moment.  But, like anything else, the more you do it, the better you become at it.  There's no magic bullet or magic phrase you can spit out to make someone drawn to you instantly.  It's a gradual and sequential process that takes lots and lots of practice to master.  Be a man.  Get out there and get what you deserve.  Don't let your genes get weeded out of existence by mother nature.  Go out and attract the best possible female suitor to be the love of your life and to enable you to carry on your genes.  We're all just animals at our most basic biological origin and, like in the animal kingdom, the males compete for the best possible female suitor.  Get out there and get what you deserve. 
And I know what some people might be saying.  "It's sleazy or cheap to learn the art of pick-up or try to slime women into being attracted to you."  My response: It's much more of a shame that there are so many interesting guys out there, who have a whole world of value to give, and always get stuck with their second, or third, or even fourth choice because they did not have the skills to attract and display their value properly to the woman of their dreams.  That's what I find shameful.  All that wasted potential simply because they didn't know how to convey their best self and amplify the attraction.  Maybe this is how it was meant to be.  Maybe I should feel lucky that I am on the road to fulfilling my biological purpose and their lack of success just leaves more options for me.  I don't mean to sound like an a**.  That's just how it is.  Good luck to everyone.  Signing off. 

P.S. i wasn't able to complete Day 22 today.  Well, I completed part of it.  No worries.  There's always tomorrow. : )

TIME TO KILL...

It's 2:00 on Wednesday afternoon.  I'm sitting here waiting for class at 2:45.  Day 22 is frame-changing day where my mission is to change the frame of a negative conversation into the frame of a positive one.  For instance, if I talk to someone and I hear them complain about something like "My friend keeps nagging me.  Geez!"  My mission is to change that negative frame into one that is positive by responding with something like "Maybe your friend nags because they care.  They wouldn't nag if they didn't care."  Then, my second task is to go in-field and purposefully change the frame of a conversation with a stranger.  The whole idea behind this exercise is that if you can control the frame of a conversation, then you can control the outcome of that conversation.  Interesting stuff!

Man I have been sitting here for hours watching pua videos on youtube.  I know that it's a journey and, technically, I've only begun.  But I think that to look at the person I am now to the person I was 6 months ago there is a HUGE difference.  I am so much more loveable. I convey so much more personality and so much more value to people around me. I have been working really hard on my conversation skills and I am pretty far with that.  I can keep most conversations going pretty effortlessly although I do make mistakes at times.  It's a life-long process.  What I am working on now is pretty advanced. I'm still working on threads, loops, and hooks and I am on the verge of beginning my practice with frame-control.  It's a life-long process and it's tough but nothing worth pursuing isn't difficult.  That's why it's called the Stylelife Challenge.  It's a challenge!  Duh!  I have forgotten what the word challenge meant.  I used to know what it meant but I lost sight of that and am only now regaining sight of it.  The most challenging part of Day 21, in retrospect, was getting myself motivated to give it a shot.  I walked downtown for about an hour and finally just sat beside a woman on a bench and made an observational conversation opener, which blossomed into an hour-long conversation that was extremely interesting for both of us.  During the conversation, I completed my checklist almost effortlessly (except for when she got a call on her cell phone and had to be distracted for a moment: and during that time I pulled my cheat sheet out of my pocket and made sure I wasn't forgetting anything!) But I number closed her and everything went smoothly.  It's much easier to number close after you mention a future interaction early on in the conversation because at the end of the conversation you can mention her tagging along and usually the number close comes naturally!  Off to Day 22.

DAY 21

I meditated.  That was the breaking point from feeling distressed and overwhelmed to getting out there and taking life back into my own hands.  I meditated, cleared my mind, then I went downtown with the pure purpose of completed my Day 21 mission.  And I did it almost effortlessly. I actually enjoyed the conversation.  Off to day 22.

Day 21

Today has been very stressful for me.  I think that I should just wait 'til tomorrow to attempt my Day 21 mission.  If I go in-field today I think I am just going to crash and burn and it will be a waste of time.  But then again, it doesn't matter what happens.  I've let go of the outcomes of my social interactions because I stopped caring what happens.  The real man is the one who has the guts to just go in and say "I don't care what happens."

The Past 20 Days of the StyleLife Challenge (a short summary)

The past 20 days of the StyleLife Challenge have been gut-wrenching, to say the least.  But it has been worth it.  To completely change and improve yourself takes everything you have and more.  The thing is, people don't have a clue about what they have inside them until they put it to the test.

-Day 1-3 included, in a nutshell, going up and making smalltalk with about 8 different strangers as well as the CaveMan Hygeine Day (Day 3) which was the most awkward day of those first three.  On that day, I couldn't shower or shave and I haven't NOT showered for like a decade.  But I got through it. : )
-Day 4: ask 3 strangers to recommend a cool men's clothing store. Also, Day 4 was Posture Day where I worked on my posture. The idea with that was to stand up straight and appear confident in posture at all times.
-Day 5: this was an easy day.  All I had to do was "spiffy up" my appearance in 3 ways.  So, the three things I did was start wearing my nice collared shirts, fix my hair up with gel, and I bought a cool-looking wrist band (peacocking). So if you see me now, I usually have these 3 things goin on.
-Day 6: my mission on this day was to give 4 women spontaneous compliments.  I know pretty easy. But easier said than done.
-Day 7: my mission was to approach 3 different women with an opener I had been taught. My opener was the 5 oceans opener which went a little something like this: "Hey. How good are you at geography. Cool. Well my friends and I have been trying to figure out what the fifth ocean is and we've been stuck on it all day. There's the Arctic, Atlantic, Pacific, and Indian. But we can't come up with the fifth one." One of the openers that I came up with and use often now is: "I found a stray 3 legged cat last night and I'm trying to figure out what to name it.  I was thinkin' like stumpy or tripod or something."
-Day 8: Approach three more girls with an opener but this time add a root and false time constraint.  (Root: the reason why you're asking. False time constraint: I'm in a bit of a rush. (Body language)
Day 9: Approach mixed groups. Approach 3 groups that contain men as well as women. This day was a breaking point for me.  I approached 3 mixed groups with a rooter and a false time constraint. Here's exactly what I said: "Hey guys, I can only stay for a minute but I need to ask ya'll a question and if you don't wanna answer I'll just go ask someone else.  Who do ya'll think cheats more, guys or girls? And the reason why I'm asking I'll tell you in a sec but real quick, what do you think?" (RESPONSE) "Hm...that makes sense.  Why do you think it is that way? Well, the reason I'm asking is b/c I just got off the phone with a female friend of mine (I ALWAYS HAVE MY CELL PHONE OUT IN MY HAND TO GIVE THE IMPRESSION OF THAT) who is having relationship problems and she thinks her boyfriend might be cheating on her. So she calls me and asks me what I think about it. Now, I don't really know so I thought I would ask you guys cuz ya'll are a group with guys and girls and I can get a more accurate opinion.  Well, thanks for the opinion. Take care."
Day 10:  Disqualification Day.  Mission was to approach 3 women with one of my openers and subtlely let her know that you don't want to date her.
Day 11: Make 3 approaches with an opener using a time constraint and a root. When the convo is closing, take one step away and look back saying: "Just out of curiosity, how do ya'll know one another?" (RESPONSE)  Then say, "I wonder which one of you is the strange one of the group?"
Day 12: Storytelling Day.  Make 3 approaches with all the things I've practiced and transition into an interesting story from my past.
Day 13: Bookstore Day. Go to a bookstore and read up on Cosmo magazine, make 3 approaches asking an opinion about an article in the magazine.  Also, fill up my StyleLife Calendar with upcoming events.
Day 14: DHV day. Make 3 approaches using my new tools and transition into a demonstration of higher value (DHV).  The DHV for today was the ring's routine where you teach someone something about their own personality (one of the best ways to spark interest in a stranger is by teaching them something about themselves.)
Day 15: Cold reading day.  This day was very difficult for me but I grew the balls to just walk up to a girl in the grocery store and start telling her about herself through observation.  AND TO MY SURPRISE SHE LOVED IT!
Day 16: Random acts of kindness day. Go out of your way today to make other people feel good about themselves.  I made 2 friendly conversations with strangers that left them feeling great about themselves and for the third one I bought a stranger's groceries for them.  This day made a big difference in my attitude prior to approaching which is very important.  I go in with the attitude that I'm here to make your day.  And people respond really well to the vibe.
Day 17: Open 2 women, demonstrate the rings routine with additional cold reading.  Today went awesome and it was aided partly by Day 16 because my attitude conveyed my good intentions.  I completed the two approaches in under 10 minutes!
Day 18: Threads, loops, and hooks.  A normal everyday conversation contains threads , loops, and hooks.  A thread, in a nutshell, is any topic of conversation.  It can be anything from the weather to my new pair of shoes.  A conversational loop is created when that thread (or topic of conversation) has been talked about so much that there is nothing else left to say (Hence a closed loop).  A hook is any topic within a thread that can spontaneously lead to another topic of conversation, or thread.  The goal today was to create multiple thread in 3 conversations with strangers to leave the impression that ya'll have a lot to talk about.
Day 19: Seed 3 conversation with an upcoming event.  The goal today was not to get a number but to simply sprinkle a hint of an upcoming interaction on a casual conversation.

Day 20 of the StyleLife Challenge

Hey guys. Day 20 wasn't as hard as I thought it was gonna be. My mission was to either seed a conversation with an upcoming event and do a phone number exchange or seed 5 conversations. Whichever happened first. Well, I gotta phone number on the first approach. Pretty damn slick. What can I say, I'm getting pretty good at this. Off to Day 21! Wish me luck.